Frosty
by luvsanime02
Summary: Duo's sure of his conclusion now. All terrans are insane.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Wing, and am making no money off of this fic.

**AN: **Written for the November 15th Cocktail Party prompt found here: gwcocktailfriday . tumblr .com(/)post/188926739500/first-frost-3-concord-grapes-2-1-2-oz-le-panto. (Without the spaces and parentheses.)

########

**Frosty **by luvsanime02

########

Terrans, Duo decides, are all insane. It's not their fault, he concedes. There's something in their genetic makeup that affects them all, sadly. Of course, they say the same thing about colonists, but Duo's found that the proof is in the examples.

Ignoring outliers like Heero, who everyone agrees does not count in either category, Duo's learned through experience that, when it comes to the truly insane actions, they're not committed by colonists.

For instance, Zechs Merquise walking around in shorts and a t-shirt in November. When they're in Europe, and it's _freezing outside_. Duo doesn't see any colonists wearing an outfit completely inappropriate for this type of weather.

Quatre's side-eyeing Zechs like he's a charging hippo, which is honestly hilarious. Duo sneaks a quick pic with his phone, even though he agrees. Even Wufei is looking at Zechs like he's utterly nuts. You know who's not looking at the man like he's escaped from a zoo?

The other terrans. Relena isn't in shorts, but she is wearing a sleeveless top. Sally and Noin are both wearing slacks and short sleeves, and what the _hell._ It was _snowing _less than a week ago - what is wrong with terrans, seriously?

Duo is wearing long sleeves. He's wearing _layers_, because it's _cold out_. Like a _sane _person. Which is not a description that's usually applied to Duo, actually, but when compared to terrans, Duo feels remarkably responsible and respectable.

Trowa's wearing long sleeves, but Trowa _always _wears long sleeves, so he doesn't count any more than Heero's jeans and tank top do. Seriously, Duo is pretty sure that Heero flat-out doesn't feel temperature at all. Like, his nerve-endings have been messed up enough that his body clearly doesn't register pain - Duo's seen the guy bend metal - so why would it register temperature?

Duo peers closely at Zechs's arms as he passes by a few minutes later, but his skin isn't even pebbled from the cold. How. How is it possible for anyone not to be cold while wearing shorts in this weather?

Even worse, Noin brings Zechs a drink sometime later, and Duo notices with growing disbelief that it looks to be full of shaved ice on top - and some kind of frozen berries? What the hell?

"What the hell?" Duo mutters out loud. In response, Heero hands Duo a different drink. It looks like hot cider, and Duo takes a grateful sip.

"What's wrong?" Heero asks. Duo tries to decide if Heero's messing with him or really doesn't know. Knowing Heero, either option is possible.

Duo mentally shrugs. "Terrans are insane," he declares, sure of his conclusion.

Heero pauses with his own drink half-raised, and then lowers it slowly. "Duo," he says, "the only person Doctor J has ever been wary of is you."

"Good," Duo replies, feeling immensely pleased about that. "And whatever. At least I'm not drinking something that's mostly ice while also wearing shorts in November."

"Yes, clearly having a high metabolism rate and good circulation system is a sign of evil," Heero says, in a deadpan tone that Duo's pretty sure is only half-sarcasm.

"Exactly," Duo says, pointedly ignoring the logical part of Heero's statement, and takes another sip of his hot cider. "The Devil resides in Hell, after all. No wonder Zechs never seems cold."

"You don't believe in the Devil," Heero says. "Or Hell." The very edges of his lips are lifted up, just slightly, which is a sign that Heero's very, very amused at Duo's antics.

Duo sticks his nose up at Heero and doesn't pout. "So not the point," he says. "Just you wait, I'll prove it someday."

Heero snorts softly. "Well," he says, "I suppose if I die and end up in Hell, and Zechs is there to greet me with horns and a pitchfork, you can say 'I told you so'."

Duo maturely replies by sticking out his tongue. Heero can be logical all he wants. In the meantime, Duo's still convinced that all terrans are insane, and Zechs in particular. Trying to destroy the Earth is one thing, but wearing minimal clothing in the cold is way too suspicious.

Across the room, Zechs starts crunching on slivers of ice and seems to be enjoying the extra chill, and Duo sends Heero a pointed look that makes him laugh out loud. Whatever.


End file.
